Swine flu. Run for my life!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
