Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
