Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
