We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Randomize
