Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
