I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
