Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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