i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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