At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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