I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize