brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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