yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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