Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize