I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
