DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
