ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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