TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
