Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
