but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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