I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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