OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
