Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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