I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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