He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
