i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He felt like a one man threesome
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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