is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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