I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
