Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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