does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
