he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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