I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Did I show you my penis last night?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize