Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize