I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
