is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
