If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
