check it out our google latitudes are spooning
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
