I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
