He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
