saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
last night I used snow as a chaser
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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