i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
