She went from zero to smokin in five shots
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
