she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
