This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
