I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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