I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
