i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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