The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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