Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
