True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
