New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
