carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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