I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
