that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
