i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
