thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i think i just lost a toe
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
