then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
