we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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