are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
