you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize