he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
