Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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