No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
