She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
