She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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