Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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