What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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