And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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