That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
