So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize