I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
