so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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